Transforming our lives through conscious decision making…
Transforming our lives through conscious decision making is a powerful process. It involves moving away from automatic reactions to every thought and emotion, which often leads to impulsive actions, regret, and a sense of losing control. By understanding and applying the principles of conscious choice, we can steer our lives towards more positive outcomes:
Understanding the Impact of Autopilot: Many people operate on autopilot, reacting spontaneously to their thoughts and emotions. This can lead to behaviours that are impulsive and often regrettable, creating cycles of shame and lowering self-confidence. Recognising that our thoughts and feelings are fleeting and not always reflective of reality is the first step in breaking free from this cycle.
Beneficial Strategy: Develop awareness of your automatic thoughts and emotional reactions. Reflect on how these often lead to impulsive decisions that don’t align with who you want to be or your long-term goals.
Pitfall to Avoid: Mistaking every thought or feeling for truth or necessity can trap you in unproductive patterns which keep us stuck, preventing us moving forward, growth and change.
Implementing Conscious Choice: Conscious choice involves observing your thoughts and emotions without immediate reaction. This approach empowers you to then ‘respond’ thoughtfully rather than ‘react’ impulsively.
Noticing: Recognise that thoughts like "I'm not good enough" are merely thoughts, not facts. Differentiating between having a thought and the thought being an absolute truth is crucial. Example: Saying ‘I notice I’m having thoughts that I’m not good enough’ is very different to saying ‘I’m not good enough’. One of those reduces us down to not very much and the other is just an observation of how we are feeling or thinking in a moment.
Allowing: Observe your thoughts neutrally without immediately accepting them as true... we can do this better if we follow the previous example, we observe and examine rather than believe and act. Understand your usual patterns following these thoughts, like seeking comfort in food or distractions.
Pattern Interrupt: Interrupt habitual responses by pausing and choosing a different thought/action. Offer yourself a differing perspective… as you would a friend you were helping. This helps create new neural pathways and breaks the cycle of automatic behaviour.
Beneficial Strategies for Pattern Interrupt:
Engage in reflective activities like journaling to process your feelings.
Involve yourself in physical activities such as walking to shift your focus. Paddle in a cold sea… be present.
Reduce digital distractions by turning off your phone (or at least use it to listen to a podcast) and connecting with nature.
Seek support from friends and have connective conversations or engage in uplifting activities.
Consequences of Unconscious Living: When we follow every thought and emotion without discernment, it can lead to a life that feels out of control and unfulfilling. We may find ourselves trapped in harmful habits or relationships that don’t reflect our true desires and values.
Creating Opportunities for Growth: To engage with self-improvement and personal growth, it's vital to create moments where you can consciously choose how to act. This includes practicing self-compassion and understanding when you are reverting to old patterns.
The Path to Somewhere Different: Remember, the path to meaningful change involves small, consistent steps. Each day is an opportunity to practice these principles and gradually shift away from autopilot living. If you want to feel better about yourself, you need to create moments of opportunity to behave in new ways… and forgiveness when you fall into old patterns. The more pattern disruptions you create then the more you leave your autopilot. With time you will see just how often you do have choice in your life and how your choices change the way you think and feel. This is powerful emotional work that transforms us at our core. Having a life with more conscious choice requires patience and perseverance, but the rewards are a more free, confident, and fulfilling life.
Embracing this approach can transform your relationship with yourself and the world around you. Start practicing today and remember that every small change contributes to a significant transformation over time. You have the power to shape your life through conscious choice.
The above are some basics of how to improve life through letting go of autopilot and making conscious choices. The subject could easily take up a book. If you would like some help in going deeper and exploring how to change life through conscious choice, along with learning some easy to use strategies and tools to help you make those changes, then please get in touch.
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